I consider myself quite an introspective person. I know myself well. I know my faults and my flaws. I know the logic, and lack of, behind most of my decisions. I tend to know when I’m making mistakes, but make them anyway. And when I want to fight for something, I invest with all of my heart. The point is, I rarely surprise myself.
This week, my sixteen year old self surprised me. I think it sounds pretentious to say “I’m a writer”, but writing has been my way of processing for as long as I can remember. I have boxes in my garage full of my old diaries, and notebooks of fictional stories, poems, letters, scribbles.
A few days ago I was looking for a piece I had written when I was younger, I found it, but it wasn’t as I remembered and I was a bit disappointed. But then I found something else. I’d like to edit it a little, but I’ll post it as it’s originally written. There’s no date on it, except for 2004. The year I turned 16. I don’t remember what triggered me to write this, but I’m a little bit proud of adolescent me, who seemed to know that this would be, in a decade’s time, despite it being a little bit cliche, very, very relevant.
How Small Are Our Dreams?
I suppose one of the hardest things to do is follow your heart. Doing as others want can be overwhelming, and yet we choose to do it because it is easiest to have decisions made for us, by those who love us. Standing up to those who you love and respect is a daunting task, one which we mostly choose to avoid.
Disappointment is harder to face than anger and we find ourselves avoiding it at all costs. But avoiding the anger and disappointment of others can find us frustrated at ourselves.
Dreams are accessible only if we make them. It is chasing ambitions that is such a hard part of life.
Remember if you risk nothing, you risk even more. Opportunities present themselves at the most curious moments. If a door is closed behind you, there is another to open in front.
Whilst it is vital to hear the advice of those wiser than you, it is also critical to find happiness within yourself, and thus, your own wisdom.
Without experience, life is not made worthy, without bad days, good days cannot exist, without failures, success cannot be achieved.
Life is more than loving, more than breathing and eating and sleeping. It is feeling, laughing, crying and falling down, then standing back up, taller than before.
Do not be ignorant, do not be arrogant, but be aware. To be aware of the world and others you must first be aware of yourself. Sometimes this is the hardest person to find, but do not stop searching.
I believe an opportunity missed it regret in progress. Take all that you can from all that comes your way. To face fears takes bravery, to stand up to ones you love takes courage, but to follow your heart takes unimaginable strength.
Decisions require such straining thought, that the thought of making a big decision can be frightening at any stage of life.
To stay faithful to yourself is a challenge that may never be entirely overcome. But do not be afraid, stay true to your passions.
Remember, to be passionate, you must have had your heart broken.
Do not place your dreams under the feet of others for they will be trodden on, instead protect them in your heart where they will be nurtured.
People are cynical about what is really worth fighting for. Do not let others use your ambitious against you. Ambitions will be everything you want them to be if they are pure and you are willing to bare moments of disappointment and regret. Remember, these moments will inevitably pass, as quickly as you and only you, desire.
Hope is something that should never be lost. With no hope there is no love, passion, achievement, success. For every day of rain, there will be a day of sun. Pain is endurable if you have hope.
Life is beautiful if you believe.
How Small Are Our Dreams?
Painting The House Pink 